I said something so shocking today, I regretted it the moment the words were out of my mouth.
I said, “They don’t make shorts like these anymore.”
OMG. I sound ancient. I only meant to say that they were out of fashion now, and that’s why they don’t make them. Current styles are very snug and close-fitting. They’re very unforgiving if you happen to have a bit of excess fat here and there on your body. These shorts have a broad, stretchy waistband and legs that are wide and long enough to cover most of my thighs. They unapologetically commit the cardinal sin of fashion: they’re comfortable.
Suddenly, I felt like an old codger leaning up against a 1957 Studebaker, praising the virtues of leaded gasoline and hood ornaments. Or a female equivalent of one, complaining that they don’t make things like they used to anymore, and that ripped and torn jeans are the height of fashion now.
Something else happened. I was watching TV recently when a 20-something housekeeper came in to empty my garbage baskets. I’ve gotten to know her a little bit and she’s really into baking, so I mentioned “The Great British Baking Show,” a reality competition series.
“Oh. That sounds like something my grandmother might like.”
Out of the mouth of babes. I snorted. The comment was sincere, honest and funny. At 59, I know that I’m easily old enough to be a grandmother. Maybe not hers but pretty close to it. I guess I never really thought of my choice as grandmotherly. I like it because I’m a foodie. It reminds me of something else. A friend and I watched a live theatre production of an Abba tribute band. Remember them, a group from Sweden big in the 70s and 80s? As we looked around the packed theatre, we noticed most of the audience was old. It looked like a seniors’ dinner cruise. We considered ourselves out of place until, reluctantly, we had to admit this was probably our new demographic group, we were just at the bottom of it.
Is this how it begins? The formation of a new generation gap? Maybe it’s because of where I live. Am I turning into a granny just because I’m surrounded by grannies, geezers and codgers? Something in the air.